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Let’s be honest. I never had a chance. I mean, never.

When the Sun News sports staff scheduled our Preps vs. Press Challenge before the end of the school year, without a doubt one of us had to head to the soccer pitch. After all, the Northland is rich in soccer talent.

But my coworkers wanted me to do what? Me? The guy that has never played an organized game of soccer in his life is going to try to save penalty kicks?

Two words: Yeah, right.

I can’t say this was the most strategic of all decisions. Not if we as a sports staff expected to increase our odds of tasting victory, anyway.

Had I been set up for failure? I can do that one in one word: Absolutely.

There certainly wasn’t any doubt in my mind when Kearney High girls soccer coach Jackie Haller couldn’t stop laughing when I first mentioned the idea to her.

That aside, I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge. So sure, I’ll take a look at what some of the best scorers in the Northland have to offer — namely Alex Massey, a freshman sensation who scored 59 goals this spring, and Tanner Brown, one of the Bulldogs’ top players of all-time.

Well, at least that was the plan. As it turned out, everyone wanted the chance to take out their frustrations on the Kearney beat writer because the next thing I knew I had six recently graduated seniors from the girls team, as well as high-scoring Antonio Bautista from the boys program, licking their chops to fire away at me.

At first I had my doubts, for obvious reasons, but hey, more shooters would give me a higher percentage of saving one. After taking it in, I had all the confidence in the world.

Walking out to the goal and ready to take my beating, I asked high school soccer referee Mike Love, who officiated our event, "What kind of chance do I have here?" His response of "None," was followed by a chuckle.

I didn’t care. Surely, I could get my hand on one. Boy, was that a foolish thought.

As I awaited the first shot from Meg Parks, Love reminded me to keep my heels on the goal line until the ball was struck. That wasn’t a problem at first, as I figured I could rely on my reactions to get me the one save I was after.

Then I took a better look at my surroundings, standing in the middle of the gaping 24-foot opening between the goal posts. My opponent stood a mere 12 yards away.

And I didn’t plan to guess, like I’ve seen in highlights countless times throughout the years? What was I thinking?

It’s too late now. The whistle blows, and Parks’ low-lining shot heads for the post to my right. I’m all over it. I’m about to dive but realize I don’t need it.

The shot rolls harmlessly wide of the net. Love, almost in shock, says, "Wow, he was there had that been on net."

I’m thinking to myself, "I’m money. I got this."

Apparently, the Bulldogs had other thoughts. And they certainly must have taken that first miss personally.

One shot after the next, I was totally overmatched. It was so bad, even my 4-year-old daughter had given up on me and was cheering on the girls. Luckily, goalkeeper Katelin Leon sent one over the top of the crossbar out of my reach, but come on, do I really get credit for a save against a goalkeeper? Yeah, I figured you didn’t think so, either.

Only once did I even have an opportunity to lay out, and I came up with nothing but a face full of grass. I didn’t dig the remaining shots out of the back of the net — I dug most of them out of the sides. The girls gave me no chance. None. Nada.

That left me with only one futile attempt, and I knew I had to change my strategy if I expected to use those goalie gloves that I had gone out of my way to attain. Bautista stood over the ball, planning to kick with his left leg — after all of the previous shots had come from the right.

I told myself, "I’m guessing left." Bautista’s shot went high into the top of the net, and from my angle, split the goal in half. Why didn’t I just trust myself and react to the shot like I had planned to do all night? Maybe I could have at least got a hand on it.

Oh, who am I kidding? At least I corralled one of the five balls they put on goal simultaneously at the end of the display, but even that was out of pity at that point.

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